I worked in merchant navy from 2007-2014 as a Navigating Officer after completed the regular school education for 12 years. I worked as 3rd Mate & 2nd Mate. I completed the qualifying exams and obtained Chief Mate Certificate of Competency from DG Shipping, India in Jan 2015. In my humble experience of 7years I have travelled widely and experienced different work environment with different nationalities in foreign lands. I had all required knowledge, training and certification related to shipping career in merchant navy but I was never happy with my job and very unhappy in my life. On 1st May 2015, few months after clearing my exams, I met with a major car accident in Goa. I suffered multiple injuries including some lifelong injuries.
Accident – My elder sister’ marriage was on 30th April 2015. All the marriage rituals were completed by early morning 04am on 1st May 2015. I was going to drop the Panditji/priest back to his temple, who had performed and completed the marriage ceremony. The accident happened on the way and the priest died on the spot. I was lying almost dead in the car, at the same spot, for almost 2hours and obviously nobody came to help until police arrived. There is a long story as to all the situations that happened before and during the marriage ceremony which led to the tragic situation as an accident.
Again, I had back-to-back death experiences. I was diagnosed with a rare nervous system disease of viral encephalopathy and acute psychosis in May 2016. Also, I was convicted in March 2019 for a month for the same accident Court case – accused and made guilty for the accident and responsible for the death of Panditji/priest who was sitting next to me in the car. I was punished for my own accident and accused of rash & negligent driving based on circumstances which were assumed to be true, although there was not a single eye-witness or direct evidence against me.
I went to Colvale Central Prison, Goa for the first time to share the spiritual ideas & proposal to do some research work for social service. I wanted to speak to prisoners to understand their past & present living conditions & situations and what are the future possibilities for them. I discussed these ideas with a policeman who listened to me for 10-15 minutes and then he said to me- Do you know what people would say to you? I said – Yes, I know that people would call me a mad person, and he was well-agreed. He understood that I had no support, no money, no backup, no super power, no magic, no enlightenment.
I said to the policeman – I can also be convicted for my own accident case which was going on at that time but it would just another wrong case & conviction. He said that it may not be possible for me to get the permission because of many reasons. I tried to meet the IGP, Goa also for the same purpose. The meeting never happened but there was some news within 2-3 weeks. In Dec 2016, the officer took VRS and he was declared as the CM nominee for the Goa assembly elections 2017. I went to the jail again for a month of imprisonment in March 2019. I am just another miserable life but with the blessings of Mother Nature & humanity I continue with my spiritual cause & efforts.
The system of law & judiciary is such that somebody had to be blamed and punished and, in my case, I did not die so I was punished. I was not even in a position of good health – physically and psychologically to defend myself in the Court but it was not considered. It is interesting to note that even the medical records were not submitted or argued during the trial of my Court case. If only I had good family and legal support then I would not have to go through imprisonment in this case.
∙ I wrote a letter to Chief Justice of Goa with an appeal to reopen and re-examine my case. I submitted the letter to jailor before being released on 5th April 2019. I had no job; no money left and did not have proper legal knowledge or support for the appeal. I have done my karma because definitely-there is a system of Justice of Mother Nature based on Karma of every individual. One day the world will know the real story.
∙ I was beaten and broken extremely and completely by difficult situations in life. I suffered pain, loses, misery, disaster & death in all possible ways – physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically. But spiritual living kept me alive, not to live as a handicapped-dependent, and gave me a new life. It helped me to recover, with inner-healing.
I do not blame my parents-family or anybody else for whatever happened in my life, in a way, they made me who I am today, and I had to learn a lot of things about life, about the – People, Society and System. I had to understand & accept the fundamental principles & ruled of life and Mother Nature. My life is my own making and destiny is not predetermined or pre-decided. We program our own future unconsciously but if we learn the fundamentals of life properly, then we can program our future consciously. Although not everything is in our hands because of the many layers or dynamics of life but we can learn & earn the freedom of life only by following the rules of life, otherwise, there is no way-out or no way to escape.
A New Vision, Life and Family
I went through the horror of life to realize the beauty and the reality of life. Of course, I had my own issues & made many mistakes in life but the biggest problem was that I was totally lost about myself. I used to struggle to adjust with everything & everyone around to find suitable ‘environment’ for myself. It was absolute ignorance because I always found myself out of place, just following the directions & decisions of family and society. I used to keep my spiritual life and spiritual experiences hidden, and there were many signs which I did not understand or ignored out of ignorance.
From very early age, during my school days and in the professional life, I could never fit in a social group. I felt lonely and I tried to find good company of some friends or even family relatives. As much as I tried to be a part of any social or friends’ group, I failed miserably. Almost 30 years of my life was a disaster and I was alone and lost in life until I found my spiritual-self. The spiritual realisation is the first step of self-development although it happened to me after death experience. Those are the lucky one who found it early to focus their life on right path while some others struggle their entire life but they never get it because family, social or psychological factors create barriers.
It was so difficult for me to realize it earlier, because I always felt like the odd-one-out, I could never relate with anyone, never had a friend, and missed to find one single-soul who can understand the way I think and feel. I found myself the day I realized absolute spiritual devotion. The day I found myself it was natural to leave all the illusions around me and embrace the life meant for myself. This self realization is so important for everyone and it can transform the life of a person.