Sunday, 16 June 2024
In a way, the spiritual-journey of my life started from Jan 2017, marked by the Saturn transit in the Sagittarius zodiac sign, and 2 years after the car accident. There were many things going on at the same time in my life, but my focus & attention was stuck by something, out of thin air, that I was able to understand and I thought maybe I can do something about it. As I began paying attention to it, I became more & more not-interested about others, whatever they thought or said; to explain anything to anyone was out of question because I could hardly see anyone capable of even touching what I could see & experience, though I tried to share my feelings with a few people, including my parents family but they were so caught-up by their own perception, opinions & judgements.
I was quite a sensitive child but extremely foolish, like extremely foolish, especially in social behaviour, even among the children of my class/age; I was very fearful because of that kind of sensitivity because of horrifying-imaginations filled with darkness-ghosts-negative things, also, I was very alert-conscious because of the same sensitive-awareness, and if there was even a slightest exposure to right kind of spiritual environment, or suitable guidance about the direction in life then the situations & results of my life could have been very different.
I laughed or smiled a lot, just like that without a reason but that innocent-behavior was given different kind of meanings & interpretations by my own parents-family, and my childhood was ruined especially because of garbage-mind of my father & elder-brother. Not only they spoiled my life, their own life is also quite spoiled & shameful. The garbage & evils of the empty-minds became the garbage of our lives, and it took lot of work to remove/recycle it, and I feel maybe, that is why, it was important to stop-die, at least, once and re-start the life. A lot of work is done in the last 7 years, still do not feel settled but I feel bit easy, since the beginning of this year as the impatient-force which was pushing me desperately to work so extremely hard, now it has become somewhat friendly.
एक तरह से, मेरे जीवन की आध्यात्मिक यात्रा जनवरी 2017 से शुरू हुई, यह धनु राशश मेंशशन का पारगमन था, मेरे जीवन के 3 मृत्यु-अनुभव ों के 2 साल बाद। मेरे जीवन मेंएक ही समय में कई चीजेंचल रही थीों, लेशकन मेरा ध्यान और ध्यान शकसी चीज़ पर अटका हुआ था, ज मुझे समझ मेंआ रही थी और मुझे लगा शक शायद मैंइसके बारे मेंकु छ कर सकता हूँ। जब मैंने कु छ बनाना शुरू शकया, त मुझे इस बात मेंक ई शदलचस्पी नहीों थी शक दू सरे क्या स चते हैंया कहते हैं; शकसी क कु छ भी समझाना मेरे शलए असोंभव था क्य ोंशक मैंशायद ही शकसी क देख और अनुभव कर सकने मेंसक्षम देख पाता, हालाूँशक मैंने अपने माता-शपता-पररवार सशहत कु छ ल ग ों के साथ अपनी भावनाओों क साझा करने की क शशश की, लेशकन वे अपनी धारणा, राय और शनणणय ों मेंइतने उलझे हुए थे शक मेरी बातें भी नहीों सुन पाए।
मैंकाफी सोंवेदनशील बच्चा था लेशकन बेहद मूखण, बेहद मूखण, खासकर सामाशजक व्यवहार में, यहाूँ तक शक अपनी कक्षा/उम्र के बच्च ों के बीच भी; मैंउस तरह की सोंवेदनशीलता के कारण बहुत भयभीत था, अोंधकार-भूत-नकारािक चीज ों से भरी भयावह कल्पनाओों के कारण, साथ ही, मैंउसी सोंवेदनशील-जागरूकता के कारण बहुत सतकण-सचेत था, और अगर सही तरह के आध्यात्मिक वातावरण का थ डा-सा भी सोंपकण ह ता, या जीवन में शदशा के बारे मेंउपयुक्त मागणदशणन ह ता, त मेरे जीवन की पररत्मथथशतयाूँ और पररणाम बहुत अलग ह सकते थे।
मैंशबना शकसी कारण के बहुत हूँसता या मुस्कु राता था, लेशकन उस मासूम-व्यवहार क मेरे अपने माता-शपता-पररवार ने अलग-अलग तरह के अथण और व्याख्याएूँ दीों, और मेरा बचपन बबाणद ह गया, खासकर मेरे शपता और बडे-भाई के कू डे-शदमाग के कारण। न के वल उन् ोंने मेरा जीवन खराब शकया, बत्मि उनका अपना जीवन भी काफी खराब और शमणनाक है। उनके शदमाग का कचरा मेरे जीवन का कचरा बन गया और इसे हटाने/रीसायकल करने मेंबहुत मेहनत लगी, और मुझे लगता है शक शायद, इसीशलए, कम से कम एक बार मरना और जीवन क शफर से शुरू करना महत्वपूणण था।पिछले 7 वर्षों में बहुत सारा काम किया है, फिर भी मैं स्थिर महसूस नहीं करता हूँ, लेकिन थोड़ा सहज महसूस कर रहा हूँ, इस वर्ष की शुरुआत से क्योंकि जो अधीरता मुझे अत्यधिक कठिन परिश्रम करने के लिए प्रेरित कर रही थी, अब वह कुछ हद तक अनुकूल हो गई है।
Sunday, 16 June 2024
Comment 1 – Thursday, 07 March 2024 – Today, I am sharing the family-history & story, that has shaped my life & personality and the Family Emails. I have already shared relevant article on my website, www.raviyog.com, as part of my life story – The last message of 2023.
By the end of the year 2023, I feel a lot relieved for all the choices I made after the accident as the events unfolded since Oct 2023, almost 7-8 years after the accident, especially in terms of the maintaining no contact and keeping my elder brother out of my life completely. It is not like he does not mean anything to me but because of his ridiculously insane attitude & behavior which he has again shown clearly through his emails & actions; so, it is best to maintain proper distance so that I can work on solutions & the spiritual program. As I say normally that the truth will never hide, it will reveal itself. In the 2 series of email communications with my brother – around 15 emails from Aug 5 to 18 and the 2nd series of online communication of around 30+ emails from Oct 18 to Nov 4, the reality of relationship within my parents-family came out by itself. In short, almost everything about the past trauma of my life-home environment since childhood revealed itself by itself which was extremely difficult to explain or share with anyone in any other way.
Family Emails, there are about 30+ emails written by my brother sent to me and marked to my father, and my reply in the 7 emails. There are some threatening emails which were also sent to my work place, to family relatives, and to some socio-political organizations.
Email 1 – Wed, Oct 18, 2023
Dear Ravi, Ref our telcon last night, no hard feelings of anything that was discussed. All taken in good spirit. Bhai, I did mentioned about “individual” principles and after this life full of fatigue I want to keep my baggage lightest for “parlok” whenever the time comes. Therefore, as maximum possible I try to clear all possible known debts which in my personal opinion is to lighten the baggage in court of devine.
Thank you indeed for reminding me although I surely understand that you never meant offending at all. But what happens always is for good. Mahakal knows this for his charan dhool. Amount of Rs 1,50,000 towards Accent purchase contribution in 2011 or 2012 shall be repayed by today evening. Thank you indeed bhai….this moment I swear no hard feelings against you rather thankful for 1 forgotten debt which is free off.
Comment 2 – My 1st reply – Thursday, October 19, 2023
As mentioned earlier, in Part 4 – The last message of 2023.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Comment 3 – Tuesday, 24 October 2023
5 emails sent by brother after my 1st reply
Email 1 – Jai Mata Di
Har Har Mahadev
Bhai, now my puja is complete.
Keep criticism ON I’m listening. You are one such person who evolve me to fight back when I listen to your distorted facts, concealed events or mostly swallowed facts to your interests. All said by you as per below noted. Now what??
Email 2 – Bhai, you are happy and contented to what you are today, so that’s good and remain happy you wanted to become monk you became. Good luck.
What you want from me. I’m materialistic man living in this world in my own ideology. I’m fine. Please leave me alone. And if you repeatedly feel how bad soul I am, then also leave me alone unless you have become God and try to punish me if you have so much authority then rule the world and punish everyone.
Otherwise don’t disturb me henceforth.
If you have some self respect left, then please don’t disturb such bad man ever and be happy and keep marching ahead to your path of Hindu+Muslm brotherhood.
Email 3 – Little brother, learn to tie your underwear tight and then talk. You are my blood brother that’s why you could stand and speak from past almost more than a decade and I always ignored. Coz a Man who couldn’t pave his path of life needs only mercy.
Cowards, lazy sinners choose to blame others for their misery. Brave get up time and again to re establish themselves until opponents submit. Of you are real Man, I challenge you. Rise up to your lost glory and put me down. I’ll accept that glorious defeat in battleground.
Don’t waste my time with these stupid blame games with distorted facts to cover your cowardly acts and misery.
Luckily, I’m proud SON of a MAN coming from brave Women’s womb. Talk the facts not bullshits/same idiotic and childish past time and again.
And listen, I have better business to attend rather to deal with time waste idiot brother coz when as you say that you begged before me, I have to work hard to meet such beggers.
Email 4 – As elder brother, and as emotional man I somehow couldn’t react as brutal as I have reacted to my father. During the course of life that love hate relationships with my father continued. Same was with my father with his father, but my father has been a man of very few words, and I was lucky to hear my father and my Dada closely, both don’t know what’s happening but both are outlet point to me. And it was actually natural/neutral.
You think a man who has catered to so many mindsets along is stupid. I exactly know what’s going on.
Don’t teach me. Many may be your contemporary I’m still away or match my pace. Or become Anup who was good till lifetime of needy amma/dada and now with mummy papa. Neither everything can be spoken, nor life can go backwards in circumstances.
Come on Gyani/Mahatma, aao aur meri jagah le lo. You are most welcome ��
In maximise fraction, I just want this generation to understand please follow Ramayana and Geeta. Follow your elders, how so ever you rise high materialistally.
This will restore, discipline and glory of this family. If I was wrong, come and defeat me rightfully and on merits of Geeta Gyan. I read Geeta at age of 8years. I still try to understand Geeta coz still I have understood it fully…. Come and humiliate me in public for right objectives, right causes and I will submit before you. Not for malicious and politicised wrongs and untruth statements.
I have no one to prove to in this world,
Except Mahadev, else I can publish you globally, if I come to my point proving.
Email 5 – You are beyond my target, until you are only a “nuisance” else I’ll fix you to your sizes at whatever cost even to extend of my jail term or my lifeterm. You are stupid so many statements you as always fail to understand howsoever that may sound stupid. Take another stupid statement to Mahagyani.
Comment 4 – Tuesday, October 24, 2023 –
My 2nd reply – Bhai, the replies which you have sent clearly show your personality & attitude. As I have mentioned in the last message sent after the Kedarnath yatra in Oct 2022 that after the accident I kept you out of my life completely for 7 years until you called in Feb-Mar 2022. After that trip I did not want to connect with you at all but again you sent the email on Aug 5, 2023 to connect back.
Please enjoy your life & success, whatever it is. As mentioned in the last message sent after the Kedarnath yatra that today-you are earning well but for me you are the same, unstable like always, because the times keep changing so the future will make it clear. I never came to you or contacted you in the past also and I will manage my life, whatever it is.
Thank You
Comment 5 – Thursday, 26 October 2023
Next email by elder-brother after my 2nd reply Ravi, this is LAST WARNING to you. Now don’t rub me on wrong side ever. This time I’m stopping myself again coz you are my brother.
Else I’ll take action against you. Please take this warning seriously. Thank you. My reply – Thank you.
Comment 6 – Thu, Oct 26, 2023 – Another 4 Emails
Email 1 – We have seen enough this life. I’m aure last thing that both of us want is to see each other at court/police station/battle grounds against each other.
I know you are not scared if me, any prudent man wouldn’t want his siblings to be “scared” or “frightened” so I never want you to be scared of me rather, factually speaking I am scared of you all, after loosing all this life on personal front, and being human its getting overboard of my tolerance and forbearance.
Many thanks for your understanding as its shall be last thing that either of us wish or would want to go heads on within family.
And henceforth never ever come and beg again before me and then backstabbe ������
Email 2 – If I believe so your words of all your prudence and greatness, basis which I expect and I shall appreciate if you may refund back the loans given to you over years. Appreciate if you may consider my wagon R car damage repair amount of 60K if you can settle in full or partially will also be helpful.
I shall not ask for interest, as its within family.
Email 3 – Please share re-fund payment plan. You are employed and drawing salary from past many years in spite you kept on taking loan and then you write that you are in debt trap.
I don’t want you to be in any more traps and grant you complete “Mukti” at least from my side.
Please advise payment plan or I will approach your employers and business partners for recovery of my money as lien holder over your revenue.
Email 4 – Please confirm my refund payment plans or I shall be compelled to write and recover all my loans to your employers and through your all associates which I shall dig upon when times comes.
Comment 7 – My reply number 3
Bhai, if you’re asking me to return money then I do not deny and whenever my time allows I will repay all your money and a the question is – when I have helped you in your bad times as you have written in earlier messages, then how much does it account for? and if you have given me a lot of money in the past willingly, then how much does it account for?
If you want to contact my employers or anyone at the resort management then please do whatever you want. If you want to take any other action against me, then also please go ahead.
I would like to reply to one of your messages – “And henceforth never ever come and beg again before me and then backstabbe ������”
Bhai, if you are referring to the money which you have given me in the last 3 months of conversations from Aug to Oct, I just want to say that it was a very honest way to reciprocate to your messages. I did not reject your offer to connect back & the help which I had done many times earlier. I was hoping to come to visit you in Dec and to do things so you do not feel isolated, put the car on rent at the resort, to work on starting a restaurant or use the resources of family in a better way etc. After the last experience of Kedarnath yatra, I said very clearly not to speak to you again at all, but since the death of Pavan was hard on family, I tried to co-operate and work on resolving things. Only because of that soft-corner for you & family, I thought let us see if we can do something to support each other. But the discussion again turned around when I said that there is no real-willingness in your actions, you have huge lack of trust issue, and one of the most wrong-ideas you have is that you can earn the love & respect by giving money. I gave the example of accent car just to tell you that in the past I have done a lot of things according to your liking but I never kept those calculations. Then you sent your email to refund the ‘car-loan’ to me for 1.5lakh and then I replied accordingly.
Now, you have come to threatening. Well, that is your real-attitude & behavior that is why I decided to keep you out of my life, especially after the accident. Thank You
Comment 8 – Thu, Oct 26, 2023, 2:54 PM
Next 7 emails of elder-brother after 3rd reply
Email 1 – This time I’m not threatening, I mean every single word I’m speaking. I have had enough from you repeatedly humiliation, abuses and even beating attempt.
Please go through incoming funds in your bank account from my side and pay back. Also calculate if you feel that I have missed yo pay you back which you feel I paid me or I owe you. Let me know. I have already mentioned in below trail of 2018 mail the loans from your side which I received in 2014 which have scores settled.
Please let me know your payment plan of dues which you me.
Coz there is no other mean to hold you accountable I am left with no other choice besides your employers who are your source fund raiser to secure my money and I don’t trust you.
Email 2 – Whatever I borrowed from you has already been settled from my side years ago. If you still feel something that is towards myside and I need to repay let me have accounts for that and shall be considered.
“After accident” and before accident either way I have always been treated without any difference by you. That’s your life and your problem. Not mine.
Email 3 – Repeatedly you have been habitual liar and fact distorted, therefore I don’t trust you. I need payment plan as to when you can pay me back my dues long pending.
Email 4 – And for once and all you have attained Mukti from my side which you were referring on 18th Oct long long conversation. I don’t need any favour or cooperation from you. Thank you. You are all free from my side and please read your email carefully dated 19th Oct where you are referring to “debt trap” I am just making effort to set you free from “debt trap”
I don’t owe you anything this life, if you feel contrary let me know.
Email 5 – You 1 thankless cheap person. What you’ll keep me out of your life.
I disown you forever. It was my fault to keep bearing repeated beating, abuses and humiliation and yet helping you always wherever you asked for money.
And I want to buy relationships that top with you. I must die the day I ever connect with you in this life. Keep the change and do good for your life.
Email 6 –
1. I did not reject your offer to connect back & the help which I had done many times earlier …. who are you to reject and what help are you talking about.????
2. I was hoping to come to visit you in Dec and to do things so you do not feel isolated, put the car on rent at the resort, to work on starting a restaurant or use the resources of family in a better way etc. Visit me or your women at Al Maty at my cost for which you kept asking me money to sponsor this trip in Dec??
Not family resources, those are my resources, which you suddenly developed interests to meet your financial needs.
3. After the last experience of Kedarnath yatra, I said very clearly not to speak to you again at all, but since the death of Pavan was hard on family, I tried to co-operate and work on resolving things. Only because of that soft-corner for you & family, I thought let us see if we can do something to support each other.
It was you who did wrong against me. And you portray as if you did some favor. When Pawan died you were with your women and didn’t even made efforts to come and now giving talks. And you will
do something for family that to expect cost from me. What’s going on here?
Seriously you are great twister and self obsessed. Seriously you are very very crooked person I never imagined your depths. Most crooked and politicised person. No wonder your today’s state which you are in. Karma.
You always play victim card of accident. Time will come when youll look back and say 2015 to 2023 were better days.
Now im feeling ashamed of getting to your level by such email exchanges.
Email 7 –
You are a man who must be kept very far away. You are actually a fatal disease. No wonder now I realise how you got your companions. I never knew your mind so well until this date. Speechless to core and why I made sin considering you my bother.
Your thought process actually gave shiver deep to my spine. I’m done with you.
Comment 9
Friday, 27 October 2023 – My 4th reply
Bhai, according to your threatening attitude & behaviour, here is my reply and some calculations –
1. Year 2023 – In the last 3 months, Aug-Oct, when we were on talking terms you gave me the money –
– 75,000+30,000+5500 = 1,10,500
Deduct it from the accent car loan amount of 1.5lakh, balance due on you = 39500/-
– In your own words, I invested a higher share to purchase the car but I went ahead to purchase the car to make you happy. It was on your name so that you could use the car. I could have used that money in a better way instead of trying to support you.
Appreciate if you may consider calculating the car rent due on you for using the car from the time of purchase till it was sold off by you without informing me about it?
– As you have written – “Appreciate if you may consider my wagon R car damage repair amount of 60K if you can settle in full or partially will also be helpful.”
The amount of car-repair was paid by papa, not you.
2. Year 2022 – We were on talking terms from Feb-Mar to Oct 2022, please give the total amount that you have given me during this time-period, as you like to keep & manage these calculations.
– Please let me know when & how you have returned my money as mentioned in one of your earlier message – “Anyways, I have made repayment of total “principle loan amount” which I received directly from you i.e. INR 91000/- during my unemployment days in 2013.”
– Total amount due on you = 91,000+39,500 = 1,30,500/ – (subtract the amount which you have given me in 2022)
– As I said earlier that if you are asking me to return money then I do not deny and whenever my time allows, I will repay all your balance money as per the calculations. So, let me know the total amount balance to be paid to you and please let me know if anything is missing. Thank You
Comment 10 – Next 3 emails by elder-brother
Email 1 – Car damage repair was paid by me to Papa and he onwards settled it. Almost in good surplus you have been taken care of at my funds and revenue in past few years either directly or indirectly.
Until I listen to your crap, all is good. This is your true side.
Car rental may please settled against all the money I invested during your accident/hospitalisation etc. Partially money you may please settle against many payments made to you during your MTI days.
Car rental may also be settled against Poha sales which you did at LBS was prepared by Shikha. Money may be settled against payments when you were some women at fab hotel Pune and you were stuck into something and I send you funds.
Year 2022 check your account statement and figure out, including loan taken at Kaz by your women was also paid by me to Papa and he had been releasing funds to you at intervals. Also as recent as on 03rd Oct 23 I gave u 30K and same evening you were giving me lectures.
Khair, time and again you prove your cheapness. You are one such thankless person who always want help/support/mercy while on another hand you carry shoes and abuses to hit me and justify your actions without being ashamed.
Khair, you have always been taking favours and support from me. What all you will return. And then you pretend to be Guruji eating at Delhi family house and staying there when someone showed you mirror and you such a shameless man disgusting way proving you don’t need anyone your bhaktgan need you.
Khair, you assume that you don’t need anyone. Trying to pretend that you are very religious man. Married to Muslim, Kazakhstan women. boss you can’t remain contended to your own religion, ethnicity, tradition and you want to talk so big.
Khair, Same bullshit watsaap msg which you sent me last Nov which you put on your website and then removed. All those YouTube videos I still have which you posted on you channel only speaks your hatred against parents and hardcore hatred against me.
Khair, just that your priorities have changed thus you came to me, else your fundamentals are same deceptive, malicious and attitude without any basis. Covering all your misdeeds in disguise of astrology. You are nothing more than lazy fraudster for me.
Email 2 – You pretend to be replying to my attitude, behaviour. You started all this –
Your never ending complaints against Papa started extensively on 03rd Oct night when you got 30K from me, followed by middle of night phone calls lastly on 18/19th Oct where u called me and Papa shaukeen log and what not. How much you will abuse, humiliate and throw disgust of Papa and myself. That’s what I say again where u send �� On my 1st reply if we are so bad chain smoker etc, leave us alone. You glorify that Papa and myself are shaukeen people then also leave is alone. Followed by emails…..again same old your illusionary thoughts which was actually baseless and absolute false.
If 2-3 years of sailing @ about 2.5 Lakhs salary how much you think you would have earned and given to parents and myself??? Introspect please. And answer is zero, coz in transaction you those days only took much more back than contributed. And for me your hatred was always paramount so I haven’t got anything from except for this Accent car contribution which you loudly claim. And you
have been answered. Those days 2009 to 2014 I was also fighting court case and have spent about 12Lakhs during the said period so I was blessed by God financially and just that income was occupied.
Now listen carefully………..
Wagon R Car was mine which you often use and damaged for your stupidity. May please also be adjusted against car rental. How and what makes you think car registration done on my name etc…. this is what and where i read your dirty cheap mind and which is core reason for my agitation. I read your mind very carefully and its dirty very dirty and very cheap.
And now asking for car rental. When your MTI admission/entrance process was going on you were staying at my apartment and eating using my resources.
Email 3 – Ab tum kal fir aaoge……and again will distort fact and selectively will reply to points with bullshits and false distirted facts and remain silent on key points.
Beta go and wash your face……and look in mirror before its too late “principally”
You have dragged me to corner to waste my time on these emails. Kyuki tum to faltu baithe ho at the most shamelessly will again take money from retired parents or myself. Koi kam kar lo dhang ke bhai. Tumhare pass yahi sab faltu kam hai and ladki baji hai.
Comment 11 – My 5th reply
Bhai, as written in your message – Car damage repair was paid by me to Papa and he onwards settled it.
In any case this is my reply – I took your car to support you & family and to take care of its maintenance so that when you come to India it can be used well by you without any problems. It was already having the problem that the battery was draining within 2-3 days and papa had to run around to get it checked every now & then. While I was trying to help you & pap, you all had doubts about it. If I had the choice, i.e., if I had the necessary trust, understanding and financial support of family then I would have changed the battery in the first place but it was not acceptable to you & papa because you both like to count money. Even after the car servicing was completed papa was still reluctant to change the battery and at that time, I said to him instead of trying to save 5000/- you end up paying for full damage & servicing. At least now get it done and solve the problem. Thank you.
Comment 12 – Next 3 Emails by elder-brother
Email 1 – Dhanyawad Prabhu �� aap Jo kuch karte ho usme mere kalyan ke liye hi karte ho. Tomorrow is Chandra Grahan. Sutak lag chukka hai. Thoda dhyan kar lyo ab. And give me also 2 days break.
Email 2 – Now good that at least you have fine tune your tone towards Papa. Dhanyawad �� my understanding and equation and financial understanding with Papa/mummy is ours without anyone siblings getting involved. Don’t put fingers in my mouth and Papa mouth and belittle and humiliate us.
Email 3 – Khair, let me tell you phone and gold chain with your women is also paid and brought by me. So you may adjust cost of same against car rental. There are many many such payments and contributions.
Comment 13 – My 6th reply
I suffered a lot because of the sheer stupidity of my family, especially because of the very egoistic & self-centred attitude of papa. His habit of economizing everything, it cost my life and he was ready with his lectures immediately after the accident. A lot of things happened before the accident but for that no one showed any accountability or responsibility. Papa & bhai, you both are equally responsible for my accident and all the suffering further. My whole life is on social-media & on the website, but this time I feel a lot relieved for all the choices I made after the accident.
I realized that all the situations-circumstances will change with time slowly after the accident and with the change in time the perceptions, opinions & judgements of people will also change but if I do not do anything about my past experiences of very difficult family relationships, then I can never recover or heal physically & psychologically. Then I went on spiritual-path. Now in the present day, things would have improved from parents-family side if they would accept my family with an open heart & mind. Nobody knows the future but we can do our best at present.
I have said to parents that I will not come back to their house because they show me door out – very recently before going to Almaty in May 2023 when papa said that I am only interested to take money from them all the time; I said for the same attitude I decided to go to jail –
जेल की र टी मोंजूर है बाप की र टी मोंजूर नहीों।
I got only negativity & suffering from my parents-family. My emotional separation with family bond & relationship is damaged by parents themselves, especially by Papa for the kind of ignorance, non understanding he showed to my feelings, situations-circumstances since childhood. I never got his support for anything that I wanted to do. Obviously, he has changed a lot over the years, a lot of things changed after I came back from Almaty and I hope things will improve in the future.
Bhai, you are a unique personality and I treat you accordingly. As you have written – “let me tell you phone and gold chain with your women is also paid and brought by me.”
My reply – I have returned the chain to the parents. For the phone, please include in the calculations as per my previous message.
Comment 14 – Next 6 Emails by elder-brother
Email 1 – Thank you, as I keep remembering I shall keep reminding you of my investments upon you. Hope to receive your incoming funds flow and accountability that you received from me and hope refund back of all the loan exceeding more than 7 Lakhs.
Email 2 – You are habitual liar, so I don’t believe that you returned that gold chain. Send me proof please. As you hold me responsible that I ate all your money repeatedly in last 10-15 years, however fact is completely opposite.
You are sheer lazy and coward man who always find excuses from hard work and for your failures you keep blaming others – myself, father etc. You are nothing but looser and manipulator of highest level. Anyways, you life – your problems and your rules.
Just return my money and do whatever you want with your life. Just don’t trouble me again.
Email 3 – You are habitual liar, so I don’t believe that you returned that gold chain. Send me proof please. As you hold me responsible that I ate all your money repeatedly in last 10-15 years, however fact is completely opposite.
You are sheer lazy and coward man who always find excuses from hard work and for your failures you keep blaming others – myself, father etc. You are nothing but looser and manipulator of highest level. Anyways, you life – your problems and your rules.
Just return my money and do whatever you want with your life. Just don’t trouble me again. Thank you for returning gold chain. But I don’t beleive that it was so quick.
Khair, as I keep remembering I shall keep reminding you of my investments upon you in cash and kind.
Email 4 – Ravi this all was started by you not once twice but repeatedly in past over 10 days. And Ravi your expenditure on myself is only Rs. 150000 where and what all do I adjust.
I am just counting peanuts – 30k paid on 03rd Oct + 38K phone+ 70K gold chain (including gold deposite interest rates since car is depreciating liability whereas gold is appreciating asset and with that money I could utilised somewhere productive) + 60K Wagon R car repair damaged by you + usage cost or rental = 1,98,0000 is just right here and I haven’t started looking into accounts as yet. Where and what all I adjust my dear????
It’s big big expenditure and liability upon me. Enough of adjustment my friend. Let me have payments plan as to when and how you intend to pay back.
You are habitual liar, so I don’t believe that you returned that gold chain. Send me proof please. As you hold me responsible that I ate all your money repeatedly in last 10-15 years, however fact is completely opposite.
You are sheer lazy and coward man who always find excuses from hard work and for your failures you keep blaming others – myself, father etc. You are nothing but looser and manipulator of highest level. Anyways, you life – your problems and your rules.
Just return my money and do whatever you want with your life. Just don’t trouble me again. Thank you for returning gold chain. But I don’t beleive that it was so quick.
Khair, as I keep remembering I shall keep reminding you of my investments upon you in cash and kind.
Hope to receive your incoming funds flow and accountability that you received from me and hope refund back of all the loan exceeding more than 7 Lakhs.
Email 5 –
Dear Ravi,
We humans have individual nature and traits. Enough filth and shit we both have splashed over each other in past few days.
Things went overboard that’s why I reacted so badly. Let us hold dignity of each other if not as brother then at least as friends. Being human I have limitation to listen when the person who had almost beaten me and raped me brutally with abuses last Oct and when during conversation same person says — “WHATEVER HAPPEND I DON’T KNOW IT WAS GOOD OR BAD BUT I WAS JUST EMPTYINH MYSELF”
Person has no regret for what he did to same human who was supporting him in just few days ago to clear his women debts and himself many ways. Always keep blaming and humiliate my father….I may have many differences but he is my father and repeatedly I can’t listen someone repeatedly talk bad use bad words for him “Shaukeen” do you even know meaning of this word.?? If not please check. Filth and shit was splashed in brutal way and repeatedly. I plead and beg you as human…..its really pains to listen such statements from a boy whom I treated and nourished since childhood. No matter what you horrific memories that you hold in your mind. That’s your business.
I have my sweet memories and when me and my father is repeatedly scared with brutal knife of words by yourself it pains and its pains much more that if same was done by any outsider. I hope you can feel similar pain which was just to make you realise — we are family whether we like it or not but that’s the fact.
I have nothing more to say. And please end other dirty filthy trail of exchanges. Man earns for his family otherwise why am I in this desert why parents at this age are running day in and out for tiffin service going from door to door and taking logo to jute dabbe for their children else their pension is sufficient and they don’t need us.
Please bhai, we all are so much fragile emotionally. Please have mercy over each other and if can at best do something at this age either act as relief or stay away. Pls read another sweet email exchanges of August between us.
Thank you. And please no more long stories. ��
Email 6 –
Bhai, I swear upon my God in good note without any taunt please follow one thing. Papa is our father, and I cannot listen bad things against him.
Bhai chote ho tum is ghar ke….chote bane rahoge tab tak maje karoge which actually you were Fortune to experience.
No father, mother or mother shall ever knowingly or unknowingly want to become cause of your accident. Get over your inner self which is full of negativity. Learn from father, he is very wise man. I simply follow him in life. Besides which relationship doesn’t have difference of opinion and hardships. Ignore that Papa is dev tulya, mummy is equally respected. I’m talking anything about mummy coz don’t hold much against her. (Pls don’t start over this with another list of complaints) We human receive only what we are destined. Nothing means nothing can happen without God’s will. Submit before God and accept life as it comes.
Comment 15 – my last and 7th reply
After going through the many problems of life I am very well streamlined because that was the only way to survive the situations I was going through. I have very accepted everything – good & bad, in my life, whatever I got or didn’t get. So, for that I have no complaints against you or the parents.
Bhai, if you did not want to spoil relations then why did you send the email about car loan refund first with all those old emails attached? Also, how can you expect me to remain positive with you when you insult my family? Look at your own email and my 7 emails-replies – who has been throwing filth throughout, it’s you bhai. Please see and correct yourself.
I had already mentioned at the end of my 1st message/email –
After all that has happened in my life, in our lives we are still bonded together by individual reasons, needs or whatever else. So, now let us look at the present & the future and what we can do to support each other because each one of us has faced very difficult challenges in their own way. I genuinely
feel that there is a huge gap of communication-understanding among each other and so I try to communicate everything very honestly & clearly. It may or may not be pleasant but at least it will bring a little more-clear understanding of what I think & feel. I have no ego problem and I bow-down in front of everyone every day during my prayers. This time I don’t want to stop our communication and I want to continue the discussions – good or bad, to continue the efforts to do something to improve our family situations-circumstances.
I am having my own challenges every day. I said very clearly & openly that I need & I value your help & support but then why things went wrong again? Bhai, as I said in earlier messages before we started talking in Aug, that we both are getting old very soon and it is important that you realize it. If you continue with such an impulsive attitude then it will be very difficult for me to co-operate. Tc
Comment 16 – The next 9 Emails, threats & replies by elder-brother
Email 1 – I will correct myself bhai. I indeed lot correction to be done with you and your family. Thank you
Email 2 – Everything happens for a reason. And whatever God does is always for good. Now I exactly know whom I’m dealing with. I have become fan of your mind now. I read your depths and thought process collectively. God bless you dear. Do well for yourself and your family.
Email 3 – Ravi, I’m not a strong mind like you. Neither I have life partner or child besides me. Nor I have able parents. Siblings you and Golu are right here. Ruby in her good days never recognised me. And in bad days she keep her attendance on and marks her present in this life register.
What you want me to do? A loner a looser in life on personal front.
I’m compelled to speak now coz of eternal silence from parents side on all this and rather they have as always left me alone. Other day as you all predicted well I got drunk and I still have call records and call logs hardly I spoke to mummy on dashahra early morning. Last I spoke to Papa who was in temple which obviously sitting here I don’t know and I hung up.
Followed by enternal silence from their side since then.
Later 2 days back I called them and mother in crying tone came up saying we 5 are dead for you. Where ever you are remain happy.
Trust me Ravi, I can’t take anymore pressure. My plate is full with work and personal isolation. I don’t wish to be sinner to commit suicide as per our puran or dharmic granth. But I just can’t take this life burden anymore with never ending complaints and abuses. Never ending humiliation in-spite of doing my best in my capacity.
Please I beg and plead you. Leave me alone. I am old and looser on personal front. I can’t take anymore isolation and this unwanted things. I just cannot handle, was it wasn’t true – I wouldn’t be this much isolated in this life.
I wish to end this life.
Email 4 – Ravi, I know I’m dealing with evidentiary convicted person by Indian Court of law. I hope he has not become habitual offender. Normally, insane man would keep away from such psychological disorderly man who became cause of death of a innocent priest. You are deadly killer, how much more blood you wish to splash??? Pls decide or shut up
Email 5 – Ravi, If you don’t stop here, I’ll add Indian government/Goa government authorities to thoroughly check upon a murder convicted person who insist and Pressurising/torchering me emotionally/mentally to bring and nationalise Kazakhstan Muslim women who is your wife and you hold a child with her.
Email 6 – Nov 1, 2023, 12:01 AM, these emails were sent to my work-place official emails also; Adding Karni Sena and VHP,
Requesting your intervention to stop another HINDU family getting contaminated with atatayi and infirng our culture.
Email 7 – Adding VHP, Bajrang dal, and BJP Goa, to deal with situation of another problem within family. I live in Oman for my work and entire Jihad is to accept his family as long as I keep paying money. And Ravi Sharma is Guru/religious teacher at planet hollywood, Goa. Please save me from this strong man!! I beg and plead I have my old age parents-family to look after besides his usual blackmail and toucher as per below trail mails.
Email 8 – Sirs, Ravi Sharma is not doing anything and a convicted killer out of accident which was self caused egotistical and he eventually became cause of innocent priest. After all possible sufferings this man has become hell of our life where one of us may die dead out of his tourer.
May he live well with his Muslim Kazakhstan wife and as he says a daughter out of their wedlock. We are still Hindu family. We can wish him obly goof luck.
Please deal with him he is paid. For us.
Regards,
Anup Kumar Sharma
Email 9 – Adding BJP Kanpur, my Tauji Shri Mohan Lal Sharma from Kanpur dehat for his cognizance on below trail mail
कृ ते प्रशतकृ शतों कु याणशवोंशसते प्रशतशहोंशसतम् । तत्र द र्षों न पश्याशम शिे शाठ्यों समाचरेत् ॥ It hurts whatever is happening beyween us. I always pampered you like my son.
If I hear also that you did any more nuisance to father or mother or Ruby/Pihu. Or curse them for your failures. I will strongly deal with you. I have still not started dealing with you.
I had been cautioning you repeatedly over 18th night call besides all through email exchanges but you kept on riding me. Don’t open full time front for me to deal, I’ll leave everything besides to bring you on right path which every other Indian household follows.
Good luck and thank you
Please do well for yourself and may God bless you with gyan. I need no reply from you to open another front.
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Saturday, 22 March 2025
So, it is the end, also, the beginning…continued the spiritual work & efforts with more focus, higher determination that there is nothing better than this to do in life.
Next, I have written the article – Spiritual Lessons, part 1, and the series will continue. We are almost completing the new website, as I am writing these words, part 3, 4 and 5, to be published, as part of my story…to be continued.